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Sunday, September 20, 2015

2010s Predictions

I've been thinking about the future of horror lately because of the mainstream-ification of the genre with TV like American Horror Story, Scream Queens, Scream and the continuing parade of remakes.
Without further adieu, here are my crackpot predictions for the next 5-10 years of horror.
1) We'll finally get the Suspiria remake and it'll indeed be disappointing.
2) There will be a Ginger Snaps TV series that'll actually be received well by fans.
3) A true Hellraiser remake will continue to linger in a hellworld limbo.
4) More Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes/sequels will roll out as horror fans roll their eyes.
5) Following Wes Craven's death, Robert Englund will "go postal" and get arrested for consecutive DUIs.
6) John Carpenter will kick the bucket wearing his trademark "who gives a fuck" sweatsuit.
7) Masters of Horror will be resurrected in some form. I can dream, can't I?
8) Eric Stanze will continue to make terrible movies following his 1999 masterpiece Ice from the Sun.
9) Jennifer Rubin and Tuesday Knight will collaborate on a get-rich-quick scheme and end up badmouthing each other to bored bloggers.
10) Blogger 'Mr. Xploit' will untie the noose from his neck and not jump from his chair, when it's announced that both Emily Perkins gets the lead in an erotic horror epic and Russell Brand is elected president of the US of A.