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Friday, June 19, 2015

Cersei's Walk of Shame!


Since Sunday night's finale of Game of Thrones, I've been waiting to dissect Cersei Lannister's (Lena Headey) debut nude scene on the show. It was a controversial scene for its brutality, the high cost it took to shoot over three days and for using visual FX to map Headey's face onto a body double naked body. Reading about it was the most angry I've ever been post-fap! The giveaways were the strangely sub-par CGI and someone else's big titties under Lena's face.
The hot nude body belonged to actress Rebecca Van Cleave. I shall dissect an interview she and director David Nutter just did about the scene in Entertainment Weekly.
Van Cleave: "...it's such an emotional experience for Cersei, you almost check out of the fact that you're nude."
Mr. Xploit: "You were clearly born to body double and steal away quality nude scenes. You bastard."

Van Cleave: "I personally don't agree with anybody who says having a body double detracts from the scene."
Mr. Xploit: "Ma'am, you stand in the way of everything me, my forefathers and the good folks at Kleenex have stood for for four generations. You've co-opted the impressionable minds of HBO for the last time! I'll see to it!"

Van Cleave: "It should be about the finished product, not about whose body was where and whose head was where."
Mr. Xploit: "You knew where every male viewers' head was and you took full advantage! For shame! Your walk of penance should've been the length of Rhode Island, if you ask me!"

David Nutter: "We needed somebody who could do The Walk of Shame physically, somebody who could match Lena's integrity, intensity and sensibility."
Mr. Xploit: "I agree, her intensity radiated right through her areolas."


That's my take! What's yours?

Friday, June 5, 2015

Blogger Problems: Shitty Screeners


They tease us with nice cover art, name actors or the simple art of being free. It kills me a little bit inside when a film producer wants you to promote his/her assfart of a horror movie. If you're hitting up the internet for promotion, have something someone is going to remember.
I visit sooo many horror sites that give kind reviews/promos of horror that's clearly terrible because they "just want to be nice." If you do this, I believe you're contributing to the bad reputation of the genre. Encouraging lazy filmmaking isn't for the better of the genre in the long run. 2011's phenomenal Absentia, made for less than $100,000, is proof that creativity, talent and passion are the key ingredients to making a classic. Marc Fratto is a director that puts out one hysterical movie after another, making the most out of low low budgets.
Blog with care, friends. Don't besmirch your reputation by recommending a joke. And yes, I know the word besmirch; I went to the university of hard knocks. Or at least the trade school...