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Sunday, December 28, 2014

Cycle (2014) Short Film Review


Greetings, filthy pond-scum! Roger Ebert once said the most important thing that a critic can do is not to write a flowery essay, but instead to have a unique voice. And of course, Mr. Xploit never blindly writes a good or bad review! I won't jerk anyone else off.
I invoked Ebert because the one review I found of this film was the most laughably biased essay you can imagine. Their head was so far up the filmmaker's ass, they could easily be mistaken for a rectal polyp. "It is a good film that succeeds due to focusing on the human condition," it read.
It's a twist-oriented short about a violent cycle of events involving a mysterious dealer and a domestic disturbance. However, what's a real mystery about the film is that the "cycle" isn't fully explained. I'm guessing the unfinished plot is meant to be continued in some manner because there's a villain that's clearly motivated, but we aren't told what the motivation is. If there was more backstory, it would've gone toward making the audience care about the characters. I kept waiting for a backstory about a sleazy murder, a sleazy stripper, or perhaps a sleazy blogger that's self-loathing, self-referential and obsessed with self-hyphenating.
But if the brisk film is just a tonal prelude to something bigger, it does a good job of building tension over a mere two and a half minutes, sans credits. It has brief flashback shots, helping to move things along and building the tension. Because of its running time, saying much more would be a spoiler. All in all, it wasn't boring and it's slickly shot too. I understand the filmmaker has some full features in the works and a new voice is always enticing.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Christmas Horror Short "Treevenge"


Check out this great, comedic Christmas horror short film from 2008 by director Jason Eisner! The ending will make you laugh out loud, guaranteed.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Indiegogo: Katherine Isabelle's Orgy


In case you haven't heard the news, Katherine Isabelle has promised to finally go nude along with Jewel Staite in a movie called "How to Plan an Orgy in A Small Town." There is no word to describe the greatness of this revelation so I will invent one. Inbefuckingcredible!
I learned of the movie, being funded on Indiegogo, when Katherine herself began teasing us about her saucy bod on Twitter. She clearly wants the world to know that she'll be on full display, following her very hot but non-nude turn in the 2010 horror classic American Mary. It's hard to believe the moment many of us horror hounds have been waiting for is finally fappening. Sorry. Too soon?
The said post mentions other actresses, including Lauren Holly and Lauren Lee Smith. Let's pray there's an actual orgy at some point in the movie.
Click on the image of the poster at the top to go to the Indiegogo and hear what Katherine has to say.