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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Blue is the Warmest Color DVD Incoming


The winner of the 2013 Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival is finally coming to DVD and Blu-Ray February 25th. Premiering as part of the Criterion Collection, the love story between high school-age Adele and college-age Emma hilariously has 69 customer reviews on Amazon as of this review.
There aren't many extras on the disc, but rumor is that Criterion is shortly releasing a special edition. Either way, this is the transfer of the film you want to watch. It was approved by the genius director himself. In case you aren't privy, the film has caused biblical levels of controversy for just a lesbian sex scene.
Hell, I feel like every other movie I watch has a lesbian sex scene. Although many say that it's the most intense one ever committed to film. I wouldn't be able to hold my very legitimate "Esquire" credential if I didn't watch it.
For months everyone has been feeling the "Blue" love, apparently even Barack Obama down there. It's time to get on board, gentle followers.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Dario Argento's Dracula (2013) Review


Or, the film formerly known as "Dracula 3D." For better or worse, Argento is still at it in the 2010s. Available on Netflix as "Argento's Dracula," this adaptation of Dracula is fairly straightforward.
Director Dario Argento's daughter Asia plays the Lucia role in her father's version of Dracula. As most viewers would hope, she eventually strips before the camera. I can hear the Argento family theme now, "Still sleazy after all these years." She first got nude for her father when she was still underage in his movie "Trauma." Coincidentally, that was also her diagnosis in family therapy. Zing! The other eye-candy is beautiful Italian Miriam Giovanelli as Tania the vampire.
Other than those elements, the movie is... well... how do you say, not so good, as Dario Argento would say. For one thing, the production design and costumes look as cheap as a college Halloween party. The CGI budget is on-par with Kanye West's Bound 2. Dracula himself is also about as scary as a lovable little Italian man trying to direct in English.
Aw, isn't that adorable? He thought the coffin was the Port-A-Potty. Director needs a diaper change. Thank God for the 2nd 2nd AD.
Asia honestly does a good job with the material. The material just doesn't do anything new. The writing suffers from boring characters and much on-the-nose dialogue. The movie truly would've been unbearable if it weren't for Dario Argento's complete lack of shame. Having said that, it's a definite step up from his last couple of movies. It's a bit like a long, lesser episode of Masters of Horror.
So if you want a cheesy, trashy, Dario Argento movie starring Asia Argento and you've seen all the others that fit that description, you're in luck! There are worse ways to spend 110 minutes.
Rating: 2 out of 5.