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Friday, August 26, 2011

Worst Movies Ever #6

Progeny (1998)

For any horror fans that have enjoyed the work of the writer/directors Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna and love the make-up effects of Screaming Mad George, don't see this. They were all obviously under the influence of something that made them suck at the time. Once again, this did not help the reputation of 1990s horror. It deals with alien babies and UFOs, but just look at the picture below! This cougar lady is abducted by a gang of Chuck-E-Cheese key chains. And the effects are made by the wonderful Mad George. He must've been getting tired of his job. I mean seriously, I've seen better looking blow-up dolls in my small town's pathetic Thanksgiving parade.
But think this "movie" has no stars? You're right. Although Brad Dourif appears as a hypnotist/UFO professor/not-leading-man-role because he's Brad Dourif. Seriously I could write up a whole column about Dourif and how he would've been taken more seriously if he'd decided on a life-career as a cashier at a truckstop Wendy's. But then I'd feel bad about writing such things because the truth is that he's quite the actor. Being cast in The Lord of the Rings and Deadwood (probably) wasn't a mistake.
Anyway, let me just drive home the point of how bad the movie is with one of my own screencaptures. Is that a word? Oh whatever, just stop reading and look below.
Rating: I give it 2 Brad Dourifs down.

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