Some Kind of Hate (2015)
The Babadook (2014)
Sunday, September 20, 2015
I've been thinking about the future of horror lately because of the mainstream-ification of the genre with TV like American Horror Story, Scream Queens, Scream and the continuing parade of remakes.
1) We'll finally get the Suspiria remake and it'll indeed be disappointing.
2) There will be a Ginger Snaps TV series that'll actually be received well by fans.
3) A true Hellraiser remake will continue to linger in a hellworld limbo.
4) More Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes/sequels will roll out as horror fans roll their eyes.
5) Following Wes Craven's death, Robert Englund will "go postal" and get arrested for consecutive DUIs.
6) John Carpenter will kick the bucket wearing his trademark "who gives a fuck" sweatsuit.
7) Masters of Horror will be resurrected in some form. I can dream, can't I?
8) Eric Stanze will continue to make terrible movies following his 1999 masterpiece Ice from the Sun.
9) Jennifer Rubin and Tuesday Knight will collaborate on a get-rich-quick scheme and end up badmouthing each other to bored bloggers.
10) Blogger 'Mr. Xploit' will untie the noose from his neck and not jump from his chair, when it's announced that both Emily Perkins gets the lead in an erotic horror epic and Russell Brand is elected president of the US of A.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
If you've seen his face, you're either a horror fan or you watch terrible 70s TV.
"Aaaaaayyy, I'm like that guy in that otha' show with the leatha' jacket but not at all. Aaaaayyy!" It's great seeing a hard-working character actor such as Miller get his own tribute documentary. I'll always remember him as that guy I furiously whacked off to in Evil Toons. No wait, that was Monique Gabrielle. Come to think of it, she'd make an even better documentary subject!
Miller's Evil Toons role was great though, because he played a "Dick Miller" type guy watching his own character-actor roles on TV. Looks like the old sonofabitch is finally getting his due!
Let's hope the trend of documentaries continues! Now to actually watch the damn thing!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Things looked promising when Cary Fukunaga, the director of the first season of True Detective, was chosen to write and direct a two part remake of Stephen King's It. Prior to True Detective, Fukunaga helmed the award-winning, gritty Mexican flick Sin Nombre.
And then there's this brat, who'll probably play Pennywise. Hopefully he'll subvert the director's advice and creep the shit out of us. Thankfully, "it" is the best description I can think of for this kid.
The make-up jobs they churn out in these ubiquitous remakes are also commonly dispassionate, case-in-point Freddy in that 2010 bullhockey. This softball crap is the reason that Martyrs director Pascal Laugier jumped ship on the Hellraiser remake, which I dare not think about.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Since Sunday night's finale of Game of Thrones, I've been waiting to dissect Cersei Lannister's (Lena Headey) debut nude scene on the show. It was a controversial scene for its brutality, the high cost it took to shoot over three days and for using visual FX to map Headey's face onto a body double naked body. Reading about it was the most angry I've ever been post-fap! The giveaways were the strangely sub-par CGI and someone else's big titties under Lena's face.
Mr. Xploit: "You were clearly born to body double and steal away quality nude scenes. You bastard."
Van Cleave: "I personally don't agree with anybody who says having a body double detracts from the scene."
Mr. Xploit: "Ma'am, you stand in the way of everything me, my forefathers and the good folks at Kleenex have stood for for four generations. You've co-opted the impressionable minds of HBO for the last time! I'll see to it!"
Van Cleave: "It should be about the finished product, not about whose body was where and whose head was where."
Mr. Xploit: "You knew where every male viewers' head was and you took full advantage! For shame! Your walk of penance should've been the length of Rhode Island, if you ask me!"
David Nutter: "We needed somebody who could do The Walk of Shame physically, somebody who could match Lena's integrity, intensity and sensibility."
Mr. Xploit: "I agree, her intensity radiated right through her areolas."
That's my take! What's yours?
Friday, June 5, 2015
They tease us with nice cover art, name actors or the simple art of being free. It kills me a little bit inside when a film producer wants you to promote his/her assfart of a horror movie. If you're hitting up the internet for promotion, have something someone is going to remember.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
A group of grad students and their strange professor take a trip to a remote cabin to document... er-herm... "paranormal activity." Things get scary, hallucinatory and a little erotic. But wait! The increasingly weird outing is actually within a dream-research experiment. It becomes a creepy, shared nightmare and their guide becomes less trustworthy. Original concept + small budget= Ripe remake