Friday, February 27, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Welcome to the 3rd (annual?) fake lesbies, hosted by Mr. Xploit. Carson Daily couldn't be here because I tried to call his agent and the line has been disconnected by NBC.
First up, those feisty Frenchmen from "Blue is the Warmest Colour," Adele Exarchopoulos and Lea Seydoux.
With all the contact they made in the film, could they be real lesbians?
It would seem so until...
Dammit! Oh wait, that's just their director, Barack Hussein Obama.
Juliette Binoche is in a new movie where she falls for Kristen Stewart. Surprise, it's French too! What a wonderful land. Free health care and lesbians as far as the voyeuristic eye can see! Perhaps Mr. Xploit was French in a previous blog.
On the other side of the world, let's see what Uncle Lloyd's got cooked up in Tromaville.
It's his latest opus, "Return to Nuke 'Em High." The new film is split into two freaky volumes.
Sundance this past year introduced us to "The Summer of Sangaile," about a young girl interested in flying who meets another girl with a similar interest. The rest will be history once it's on Netflix.
Hashtag I've run out of pictures.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
I invoked Ebert because the one review I found of this film was the most laughably biased essay you can imagine. Their head was so far up the filmmaker's ass, they could easily be mistaken for a rectal polyp. "It is a good film that succeeds due to focusing on the human condition," it read.
It's a twist-oriented short about a violent cycle of events involving a mysterious dealer and a domestic disturbance. However, what's a real mystery about the film is that the "cycle" isn't fully explained. I'm guessing the unfinished plot is meant to be continued in some manner because there's a villain that's clearly motivated, but we aren't told what the motivation is. If there was more backstory, it would've gone toward making the audience care about the characters. I kept waiting for a backstory about a sleazy murder, a sleazy stripper, or perhaps a sleazy blogger that's self-loathing, self-referential and obsessed with self-hyphenating.
But if the brisk film is just a tonal prelude to something bigger, it does a good job of building tension over a mere two and a half minutes, sans credits. It has brief flashback shots, helping to move things along and building the tension. Because of its running time, saying much more would be a spoiler. All in all, it wasn't boring and it's slickly shot too. I understand the filmmaker has some full features in the works and a new voice is always enticing.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Thursday, December 11, 2014
In case you haven't heard the news, Katherine Isabelle has promised to finally go nude along with Jewel Staite in a movie called "How to Plan an Orgy in A Small Town." There is no word to describe the greatness of this revelation so I will invent one. Inbefuckingcredible!
The said post mentions other actresses, including Lauren Holly and Lauren Lee Smith. Let's pray there's an actual orgy at some point in the movie.
Friday, October 31, 2014
No, I couldn't be... Halloween again?! It seems like just yesterday I was indulging in Halloween's lowest form of entertainment, the cheerleader slasher. Oh wait, that was yesterday.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Watch out for a new voice in horror. Excision is Richard Bates Jr.'s writer/directorial debut and it ain't just tits and gore! Yet it still manages to be good and manages pack in every discount cult movie legend under the sun. Watch out for cameos from Malcolm McDowell, Traci Lords, Ray Wise, John Waters and... Marlee Matlin? Sure, join the party, just don't expect to be paid scale. Lettuce in a bowl? You shouldn't have.